The Fountain of Youth

May 23rd was 16 years that I have been graduated from high school! We recently had a class get together and chatted about how 16 years is VERY close to 20 years of being out of high school.  YIKES!
We all know, in that amount of time, that things change.  Some for the good, some for the bad.
The majority of things I hear these days, when talking about fitness, is how the person wishes they could look and feel the way they did back in high school.
Guess what?
You can!
Guess what again?
You can look and feel BETTER!

I have found that "The Fountain of Youth" isn't a quick fix of botox, breast augmentation (although thats not necessarily a bad thing), or fad diets.
It's eating right and fitness.
What I mean is 70% clean eating (eating as close to its natural form as possible) and 30% fitness.  Meaning don't stress over eating what you want and then trying to burn those calories--you'll never make up for it.  You'll have to run a half-marathon (13.1 miles) to make up for that whopper, fries, and medium soda that you had for lunch.
Instead, focus on ways to fuel and feed your muscles.  Muscles are made in the kitchen.  I am a slow learner.  I have to see it working, first hand, for people before I jump on board.
Im seeing results and loving it!
Do I want to be the way I was in high school? NO WAY! I want to be who I am NOW!

Visit my site if you need help!

"The Fountain of Youth really is just a puddle of sweat."-Chalene Johnson (TurboFire)

Apparently taking studio pics with your BFF was cool back in '97.

Yes, that is REAL sweat...and no I don't glisten.  TurboFire has changed my life...and made my runs so much faster!

My friend of 20 years, April.  While the other girls were checking out each others hair and such, I gave April major props on her biceps.  That girl is buff!

To be continued...

As I have said before, this blog is used for my "failures" as well as it is victories.

Yesterday was not a good day.
Yesterday was Mother's Day.

While everyone was busy posting about their moms and all the wonderful posts about their moms, my heart was empty.

I have struggled for years at why my heart feels empty when it comes to my mom.  It's very hard to explain.
I didn't grow up in the best home life and that's okay.  It took a little while to get to the "okayness" of why I grew up that way but I haven't quite understood the mother/daughter bond...or lack thereof.
I get the bond between my child and I (I absolutely love it) but I have never understood what it's like to be THE child.

I know my parents loved me.  I know my mom loved/loves me.  But, to the depths of REALLY knowing, I don't understand it.
I am sure this post seems meaningless to some, especially if you've understood your role in your relationships.
For someone like me, I am completely numb at being a daughter to a mother.  I don't know what that feels like.

A few weeks ago, there was some misunderstanding between a family member and I.  The person totally misunderstood what I was trying to say.  Instead of asking me or reaffirming what I said, they completely spread the word around at their interpretation.  It caused havoc with some family.
And again, I was left with the thoughts of how I have no one.

Maybe you might view this as a pity party.  I really don't.
I look at this as reality.


If you are reading this and you are family, please know this is something the Lord is working out in my heart.  It isn't something I am doing on purpose or doing to get back at anyone.
I don't know why my heart is hardened.

To be continued...

  I love, adore, and admire my child.  I hope to be like her one day! 

U2

A few years ago, I watched a documentary over Bono from U2.

He was being interviewed over his faith and how most of his songs, in some way, are about Christ.  

Out of the whole interview only one phrase stuck out...

"Sometimes you just have to sing the blues"

How appropriate for that time in my life when I was speechless, emotionless, and heartless.  I had been through some major heartache and I had NO idea how to get rid of it.
I had prayed, I had sought,  and I had thrown myself down at the Lords feet.
One thing I had not done, was mourned.

"Mourned? Why would you do that when you have faith?"

Well, because mourning is a natural feeling and because Jesus mourned a few times.
*When Lazarus died, Jesus cried.  "Then Jesus wept."-John 11:35
*Praying in The Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus was in agony.  "Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me.  Yet I want your will to be done, not mine."-Luke 22:42 "He prayed more fervently, and he was in agony of spirit that his sweat fell to the ground like great drops of blood."-Luke 22:44
*On the cross while being crucified, not only was Jesus in pain but HE was overwhelmed with the sin of others (yours and mine included).  He was heartbroken.  "...My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?"-Matthew 27:46
The only difference is that I could not praise during my storm.  I only questioned.  Why had I let myself get this far away? Why did I allow others to come in and make room? Why didn't I grab my armor of faith and "fashionably" defeat the enemy's schemes to destroy me?
I had sunk that low in my emotions.  To the point of shutting down physically and emotionally.
I did the only thing that could help me mourn...

I grabbed on to John Mayer.

I know, I know, it sounds CRAZY! But, I grew up in the south and blues/jazz/raspy voices have always gotten my attention.
I have appreciated John Mayer over the past few years but it was when I couldn't do anything but listen to his music, to get me through, is when mourning took place.
His lyrics were right on and I cried through most of his songs during that rough patch in my life.  So much so, I would park my car in parking lots and cry out.  It was a good release.

But now, life has changed for the good.  I've reconnected with my Lord and HE has guided me through those rough times.
Only now when I listen to John Mayer, its all respect for his music-mainly his guitar skills.

In November 2012, I had a dream.
I dreamt that a friend of mine (another JM fan) and I got to meet John Mayer at a concert.  I asked my friend to take a picture of me and John so I could put it on my Facebook profile.  She took a ton of pictures but they were all blurry.  I finally took the phone away from her and took a self pic.  Before I could look at the self pic to make sure it was okay, I woke up.  (I hate that!)

In December 2012, I got some news.
After 2 years of not being able to sing because of a knot on his vocal cords, John Mayer was going to do a charity concert in Montana on January 16th, 2013.  There would be a chance to get "meet and greet" tickets as well.  Not only would John Mayer be singing at the charity event but Zac Brown would be there too.  I HAD to do this!
So when tickets opened up to buy online, I was there!
It took 45 minutes to get those tickets but I got them.  I also got front row tickets to the concert.
I CANNOT tell you how excited I was! I was shaking!

With Jeremy being deployed, it would be me and Maddy venturing out to Montana.  We would fly out there, meet John and Zac, and fly back the next day.
I have NEVER done anything spontaneous like this before but we all need to take a chance sometime and I did.

January 16th came and the meet and greet was here.  Maddy and I were second in line to meet him.
When it was our turn to go up, I shook hands with Zac and then John (Johns tall, by the way).  We chatted for a moment and then I asked John my most nervous question, "Can I take a picture of us?" and he said, "sure!".  He leaned in and I snapped a selfie!
And you know what? It went on my Facebook profile!

EVERYTHING happens for a reason! It took getting to the depths of darkness to recommit myself to my Lord and then on to meet John Mayer.  I know God allowed that time of sorrow to eventually fulfill a part of my "bucket list".
Now, when I listen to JM I hear his music and I smile.  I WAS there and now Im here.  And OH MY GOSH, I met JOHN MAYER!!!

Are you feeling despair? Do you feel like singing the blues?
It's okay to.  I never thought it was okay to.  I always thought I had to praise during tough times.
Don't get me wrong I have praised during the hardest times of my life but this time I could not.  And God understood.
Man, am I ever thankful for grace and everlasting love!

BTW-I get to go to my next John Mayer concert in July near Kansas City!

Me and Maddy when we landed in Bozeman, Montana.  If I wasn't a southerner, I'd definitely be a northerner.

"Can I take a picture of us?" "Sure!"-JM

Front row seats at his first concert in 2 years.

John Mayer and Zac Brown-best.night.ever.

From LAME to LEAPING!

It seems like eternity since I've blogged.
I am not sure what to write anymore.
Ive been a lot better at talking about things with people than journaling about them, whether it be in prayer or about something.

Things have changed TREMENDOUSLY in my life over the last few years and I'm so excited to share stories along the way.
First off, I am a recovering Panic, Anxiety, OCD, and hair puller.  I laugh at myself when I say that because its CRAZY and TRUE.
I suffered a panic attack in January 2010 and since then I've had to redefine myself.  I sought first in the Lords eyes and then on to who I need to be.  HE is showing me more and more each day on who HE designed me to be.  Not just physically but emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
Its been interesting the things Ive had to learn along the way but how else is a person supposed to grow?
God has a sense of humor, I just need to learn not to take things TOO seriously.

One of the main things that HE has changed is my fitness level.  I never thought fitness could go beyond running.  The day I discovered running, that was it.  I was a runner.  I've never gotten away from it nor do I ever want to.  I just didn't know the calling would go way beyond who I thought I was.  So, as of February 2013, I am officially a Beachbody coach.  I like to look at it more as a person who helps you mentally and physically...so a life coach.
My goal is to help others through the toughest part of their lives.  If you are uncomfortable with the way you look and feel, I am here.  I guide people through a program that is right for them and help them along the way to stick it out.
I am currently coaching a group of 9 girls (all online) through TurboFire.  That at home program is amazing.  It has changed my outlook on how I was to feel and look.  I want to be healthy.  I want to be fit.  I want to be all I can be and more.
Check out the site and see if you're interested in anything.  My next group will start at the end of June and that group will be Insanity.  I am looking forward to that 60 days of "Bananas".

www.beachbodycoach.com/missqueenwendy

The other life change HE brought me to was "clean-eating" (eating food as close to its natural state as possible).  I stay away from anything processed as much as I can.  Not everything is 100 proof but it has worked for me to stay away from them.
It took me years to find what was for me and I'm not giving it up.
I found people who are truly inspirational with their health and have encouraged me along the way.
I dropped 10 pounds of unwanted fat like that.  My agility and speed have increased.  My energy level skyrocketed and my thought process seems more clear.
If someone would have shared this with me 9 months ago, I would've ignored it.  I guess I had to find out for myself.
I do want to add that I have a "treat" day sometimes.  I usually have that day on Saturdays and it's been Chic-Fil-A every time.
However, lately, I've not really been in the mood for that "treat".  I feel more like ME when I stick to what I have planned out.
Just know, I think its okay to indulge.

Like I said at the beginning of the blog, I have a lot of things I want to share.  I just don't want to overwhelm myself of the reader.
So I'll end it with this one thing:

In 2007, I was running on my lunch break and I was angry at running.  (Runners go through that from time to time.  We wonder what is the purpose of it all.)  I remember asking God, "why!?! Why do others seem to have progress but not me?"
Then I heard HIM say, "because you were once LAME and now look at you-you are LEAPING!"
HE was right.
There was a period in my life where I could barely walk and here it is, years later, I am a 5 time marathoner (hopefully a 6 time marathoner in November).

How about you? Are you LAME? Are you stuck?
Don't fear that.  Seek it out.  HE has more for you than you know.  Maybe you've heard that a lot but never saw results from it.  Don't give up.  Your breakthrough could be right around the corner.

"Mark out straight paths for your feet so that those who are WEAK and LAME will not fall but become STRONG"-Hebrews 12:13 (NLT)

"I just came to Hello..."

Since this blog can be like a diary to me, I do feel lost when I am not up to date with things.

It has been a few months since my last post so I thought I would quickly jot down a few things.

First off, my hubby came home! We survived our first 6 month deployment (the past ones have been 4 months)! It was a great reunion at the airport with the patriot guard showing up and some squadron support. For a moment, I felt as if we were thanking the people for their support more than my husband for his duty. We were so humbled by the love that surrounded us.

Maddy is now in middle school and it was one of the hardest things I had to go through but I survived. Letting your child grow up and learn on their own is not easy-but I guess the Lord feels that way when we are brokenhearted at our own expense. Its amazing how I forget that I am a "learning" child as much as she is to me.

Frank is getting so big and actually used our "cheap" couch upstairs as a huge chewtoy. We come home every now and then to some shreds on the floor. We discipline him and then love him. He has filled a gap that seemed to be left open in my heart. It's awesome!

Anabelle and Morrison are doing well...as well. They are getting old in their age and at times I see Morrison struggling to walk upstairs-I'm pretty sure he has arthritis. They are in their late 60's according to cat years. I never thought I would love cats but these two changed my heart. I am thankful for them and their old souls.

I have been feeling great! Occasional arthritis in the wrist and shoulder but only with weather change. Other than that, I can proudly say I still enjoy the runs and weight training. I have put on 10 pounds of muscle in the last year. I feel healthier and so much better about the overall care of my joints and muscles.

FACT- LSU is EPIC (Maddys favorite word). FACT-they beat Alabama and Arkansas, with that being the only thing I cared about this season! Coca-Cola is the only red and white colors worthy to be called "classic"! Roll Tide and WPS (Woo Pig Sooie) are done! Haha!

I am so thankful for all that we have gone through this past year. It has brought us closer as a family and taught us many things along the way! God is still and will continue to keep working in our hearts, revealing himself to us in every way. We always need to be alert and attentive. Why would we want to miss something?

I am sorry if this seems so bland-I started to feel like I had abandoned this thing and now that I am back, I am not sure what to say! Soooo, in honor of the song that gets stuck in my head over and over...

"I just came to say Hello!"-Martin Solveig

Oh, and BTW-I am super excited about the upcoming flicks:

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo-Dec. 21st

Hunger Games-March 2012

Abraham Lincoln-Summer 2012

heehee!

Winter

Today I felt the "worst" part of my job...saying good-bye to some pretty awesome people. I have to recognize this family for everything they do.

A father in the military as an officer working on his masters degree and a mother (former officer) working as a hospital administrator. Their twin boys were in my classroom and I/we fell in love with them. They also had another son in April of this year.

How do they do it? Going to school, both working full time, raising a set of 2 yr. old twins and a 2 month old. Within the last few months they have been getting ready to PSC and move to another base.

Well, that time was today. This is the day we were dreading since they shared the news that they got orders to another base.

It has been a while since I have cried that hard over something at work.

This family is amazing! Their children are exceptional! The parents have super patience and it reflects through the children, who in return have patience with other children.

How did they become such a great family?

I can see through their pictures, their relatives who come for visits, and in their conversations with each other and their children, that it rooted from being active and attentive in their family. They are not selfish, they are not prideful, they are not overbearing, they are not rude, they are not bitter, they are not fake...they are true role models of humbleness, genuine, and being real. Always smiling and Gods grace all over them. Even in their busy times you would never know they had things going on. Things that some of us would cave under stress.

There are "seasons" in which people are supposed to be in your life and today felt like winter to me.

I am going to miss these children so much and I will miss them because of their parents.

How do you see your kids in the next 5 years? Will they be whining for your attention? Will they be needy because they are lacking something? Will they be TOO reliant on you? Are you overbearing, overlyprotective, or is it YOU that is afraid for your "babies" to grow up and you keep them in a bubble?

We all do hese things to an extent. I mean, I have struggled with many things lately with Maddy...but it hasn't been about HER. Its ME. Take a look inward and see what is it that is most important to you. Is it your job? Facebook? Your hobby? Maybe even church? Too much serving can not only burn you out in the long run, it can burn your children out...now.

First ministry is at home. It's time to prioritize.

Grow up!

I have to confess that I am completely torn at the moment.

Torn between trying to keep my 11yr. old a baby and letting her go to grow up.

People say that time flies...but really, it does.

It is hitting me hard lately that I will eventually have to let her go.

It is some parents desire to get their children out of the house someday as grown independent people but a little part of me wants to have a big house with separate wings, so she and her husband can live there. I just don't want to see her grow.

Tonight, as we took Frank on a walk, we noticed a group of children on the porch playing and laughing. Maddy got a little sad. When we got home we sat at the table and talked about why she was so down. "I just feel like I know you want to protect me but sometimes I feel alone. You don't let me go to friends houses or chat with them. I don't even have a cell phone to talk," she says as she's crying heartfelt tears.

Ugh, is this really happening??? Do I tell her about the family friend whose older brother touched me inappropriately when I was 5 yrs. old? Do I tell her the damage and hurt that computers/chatting can do? Do I tell her about the same damage/hurt that can happen through talking and texting?

I had to take a breather when she was saying these things to me...because she was right. I am very protective. There is one thing I pray for Maddy to keep with her always and fear of letting her go is fear of her losing the one thing you can't get back.

I can honestly say that I am trying to let her go as much as I can (in my eyes) but I am sure it is as little as I can in hers.

I was able to open up to her about a few things and not overwhelm her and I know as she gets older she will be able to understand a little more but right now I wish her growing would just stop.

You always say how much others children have grown but you don't really see it with your own until a day like this.

I know that trusting God with your child is what we should do and I know that our children aren't really ours. He is intrusting their little spirits in our hands and trusting that all we have to do is trust Him and we can't go wrong. On a day like this, that is hard to do.

I am going to seek out what the next step is on how to let go more. It may be a slow process but I have to start somewhere.

"...how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him." Matthew 7:11 (NLT)

I guess I need to Grow Up about her growing up!?!