Sunday, May 9, 2010

Happy Mother's Day!

Wow. What an amazing Mother's Day! I was so overwhelmed at the message at church today I had a lump in my throat the whole time. When I was finally able to talk to Jeremy I just released all the emotions I could not contain. I am on a journey of falling in love with Christ more and more. It seems that the moment I begin to hand things over He begins to show me what He has been wanting to give me for some time now. I know everything has a purpose so I am over condemning myself for some things I carried inside. I am ready to recieve the gift He promised.

I took a trip to Atlanta a week ago to a conference for our children's ministry. After getting a phone call the day before I was supposed to fly out about a blessing that was coming, I was already overwhelmed when I got there. I remember sitting in worship and praying about something I felt the the Lord put on my heart. I asked, "Why God? Why when I feel this way would you want to bless me? I am not worthy." I felt the Lord say, "It's not always about you. I have to do this for them." I immediately lost it. I was so ready to tackle the world...and then there's the waiting.

Today I felt completely covered with that love again that I could feel myself getting a little anxious. It's the "waiting" for things promised that is hard BUT I am willing.

It's hard for me to write them all down right now but I will tell you that a long awaited prayer is unfolding behind the scenes. We are just in the "audience" waiting on the curtain to open.

After church Maddy and I went to Five Guys Burgers and Fries. (We noticed a high chair with rollers on them and I laughed at how I used to push her around the resturant in those, so I made her get in one. I know it seems silly and she was shocked that I requested it but I had to see her in it.) When we sat down at the table I began reflecting on the "when" God will provide for the prayer request. It was so overwhelming I had to turn my head from Maddy so she wouldn't see how emotional I was. Yeah, I can be a sap. But who isn't when it comes to trying to comprehend God's greatness?

While I sit here and talk about being anxious, it starts to make me feel that way. I am remembering the scripture about anxiousness:

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."-Phillipians 4:6

In EVERYTHING through prayer and petition...present your request to God...and then comes peace. Amen!

Soooooooo, this is my Mother's Day gift: prayer, petition, request, and PEACE. Thanks Lord!

Thursday, May 6, 2010

"Crazy Love"

I am reading a new, to me, book called "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. It is hitting home pretty hard with a phrase of "Are you IN love with Jesus or just His everyday blessings?" Wow. My heart was on fire today to confess it to the world. I wanted to shout out, "I am guilty Lord! I have taken you for granted! I have loved materialistic items more than you! I have enjoyed freedom and MY time! I have taken grace for granted! AND I'M SORRY!" I got to share some testimony with a friend and I felt the Lord's grace at that moment.
I say all these things but at the same time I got angry at something today. I got mouthy at a situation today. I allowed the enemy to aggrivate me with petty things and things I have no control over. (When I think of control I laugh a little inside. I watch "The Office" and one of the characters, Andy Bernard, comes back from anger management. When someone makes him mad he says, "I cannot control the things YOU do, I can only control what I do." To bring humor to a 'stressful' situation, I say that exact phrase and move on. It has taken some time but I am getting it.)
With that being said, I am ALWAYS learning. I am learning that I have idled for far too long-it may not seem long to others but it was to me. I am learning that God does want to bless me, not just with everday blessings (husband, children, and materials) but with HIS blessing of grace, forgiveness, and everlasting love. I am HIS child and HE wants to. I am willing to accept.
How about you? Do you think that God's blessings are earthly items? Do you praise the Lord when you get a raise, a new car, or a home? I am guilty of that. I am also good at playing a game called, "Not Fair." Have you ever played that? It's easy. All you have to do is pout, moan, groan, and stomp your feet at the "not fairs" to YOU in this world. But you know what, there is no winner in that game-only "L"osers! I am learning that as long as you wake up in the morning and start your day, everythings fair and you deserve everything you have.
So...if you want to get a little "Crazy" then start with Jesus. You won't find any other love like that!