A lot of amazing things have taken place along with the mental and emotional struggle.
I've always heard it gets mentally tough but I am understanding more and more everyday how hard it really is.
You go from eating whatever you want (not necessarily junk 24/7 but snacking when you want) to getting a meal plan (strict diet with once a week cheat meal) to NOW-cutting (no cheats for 3 months).
Food is just food but when you can't have something, it gets tormentuous. I had to detox myself from Chipotle, Starbucks, and my precious pack of mini Kit-Kats.
It's getting easier but man, I was angry/sad/frustrated. Especially during the monthly cycles.
Thankfully I have a patient husband and teenager that supports and understands me.
Progress is starting up. I have always been "skinny" but never felt "fit." Some people are okay with being skinny and have even said to me, "If I could be skinny like you I'd be fine." But I wasn't/am not fine.
I have so much built up in me that I know I can offer, being skinny is not okay.
Ive heard talented people say they've always felt BIG inside but the small of them held them back, until something was finally released.
I am not going into this competition to WIN anything but if I do, great.
I am going to fulfill a purpose I felt put on me back in 2007. I didn't know the resources or the right way to get there. I was also VERY scared. I tried to do things on my own and it did not work.
I finally got the information I needed and took off.
I gave up marathoning (for the meantime) to build muscle and saw crazy changes.
There have been a few things that have tried to detour me. I developed Shingles in November (it lasted 2 weeks) and just recently got a spasm in my upper/mid back from changing 10 45lb weight plates on a leg press. I twisted wrong and felt a jolt. I had to take off a week off of training and get xrays, CT scan, and the crap scared of you (not really but a little). But, it healed on its own and I was back at it!
I gave up social media (Facebook and Instagram) for the time being and it has been so freeing. Not seeing unnecessary drama and obsessing over how I should be looking for this competition helps me focus on ME.
This blog is my last social cord. It was here before Facebook and Instagram. I will continue to use it over time just to let my voice heard and to declare that I believe God is doing a work in me. I cannot wait to fulfill an ultimate dream.
"Everything you need is already inside."
|Traps with lower fibers are finally forming!|
|Well, hello there abs!|
|After much debate, I've decided on the green.|
|First ever group posing practice with the ladies.|
|Dallas Rae is my fit idol. I love her personality and honesty. And, the body is my goal!|