In the last blog I poured out my frustration on how I felt about a situation that day. I was in a funky mood about "ME"...and then I realized, "it's not about me."
You know those situations I talked about God using to help me be more sympathetic? Yeah, he did it again today. Practice makes perfect right?
There is this new volunteer at church who started helping me in the class since Jeremy has been gone. I was very welcoming and ready to show her how I time manage the 3 yr olds with worship, cirriculum, snack, and play. The first time she came was great, it was the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th time that didn't seem like I was giving my heart fully to her.
Sure everyone's teaching method is different and no not everyone has patience for child care. I guess I just don't get bothered by some things that others do.
She didn't seem to like when children made a mess or got loud. She wasn't rude to them or mean, I could just tell in her demeanor that she was aggrivated.
One thing about that was her grandson was in my class, so she wanted to serve in there.
Today I went in and was going over the lesson. She happened to walk in and start showing me all the things she had planned for our activities. I listened with an open heart but with my mind already made up on how we were to do this lesson. So I guess I wasn't totally listening to her.
All of a sudden she said, "it's really loud out there. Have you been out there yet?" (Our church had a local classic rock station and band come out to end our "Classic Rock" Sermon on the Mount series.) I said, "no, I haven't but I know it does get loud sometimes." She then said, "I know. The church I came from was not like this. In fact, I was a lot more connected with those people than people from here. You are the only one I've connected with. I don't attend service here. I just come for my grandson."
Immediately my heart was humbled. All that selfishness and frustration I had felt in earlier weeks had vanished.
We then continued the conversation. I was able to hear her heart on some things and it was good.
I listened to her ideas for an activity and it was awesome. She played guitar and brought instruments for the children to play. Since it was Palm Sunday we began to sing "Hosanna" and march around the room rejoicing in what Jesus was doing. I can honestly say I truly felt as if I was welcoming the King while He rode in on a donkey. What a great idea she had!
After we were done teaching we had a great departure. I went in for worship and our band was playing "Brick in the Wall." What church do you know of that plays songs like "Beat It," "Brick in the Wall," and "Sweet Child of Mine" and ties it into the message? Not many. Most churches would call that blasphemous or outrageous. When behind closed doors people listen to that music and think about OTHER things rather than God when listening to them. They don't tie any of those songs to something God is doing or has done.
Well, while I was listening to "Brick in the Wall" and embarrassing Maddy by rockin' out (haha), I felt the Lord speak about that song. He said, "some people feel like they are just another brick in the wall but they aren't. The maker (ME) carefully made them the way they are and they are planted where they are for a reason." and it made me think about EVERYONE I had felt I was angry at last week for being rediculous.
Although they have areas in their life that "I" feel can be better by attitudes, my attitude was not right.
Maybe they didn't see that part of me...or maybe they did. Whatever that looks like only matters to ONE person...HIM, because it is only then I can begin to truly care.
"Preach the gospel at all times and when necessary use words."-St. Francis of Assisi
"Your walk speaks louder than your words."-(Unknown to me)
So, I ask you "what does your walk look like?" Are you the obvious, dreading, 'please don't need me to do something', 'please don't ask me for prayer', 'please don't go into a long life story',-kind of Christian or are you the hidden one, the fake one, the 'I'll be nice to your face but roll my eyes later at how rediculous you are.'
God doesn't do that us, so why would we to others?
Like I said before, I'm still learning. I don't want to be a "don't" attitude anymore. I want a "want" attitude.
By the way, I used to think that the song title "Brick in the Wall" was "Breaking the Law"...until a few years ago!