Man, a day like this would happen the day before Valentines Day.
Valentines Day is day designated to show your love for someone you hold so close to your heart. A day that feels like the whole world celebrates this one thing...LOVE.
I had/have this blog in mind and couldn't/can't wait to publish it on Valentines Day. A day and blog post dedicated to my one true LOVE...Jesus.
My mom loved/loves to listen to oldies. At the time I was embarrassed but as I got older I learned to feel and appreciate music. I now know why that era was known for good tunes. Creedence Clearwater Revival, Hall and Oates, and of course...The Beatles. Wow, I can feel the way their songs moved me, especially The Beatles. If ever there was something I was going through I could always turn to Paul, John, Ringo, and George to uplift me.
I struggled a lot growing up. I struggled not only with feeling like the "oddball" but I struggled with not feeling loved. You always "know" you are loved but how do you "know" you are loved? I didn't and it took many years for me to truly know what love felt like.
I remember a time when my mom was going through some emotional abuse from my step-dad, the radio was on and "Here Comes the Sun" by The Beatles came on. I remember feeling a roller coaster of emotions for my mom. Hurt for her that she had to go through an emotional beating. Angry at her that I couldn't get a heartfelt hug from her. Love for her because she was my mom and I was drawn for her approval. Even still when I hear this song I get taken back to my teenage years and the emotion that was put into this.
It wasn't until I was 23 that I realized that Jesus was EVERYTHING. He is your dad, mom, best friend, husband, beloved, commander, etc. Anyone you have ever relied on will eventually let you down (because they are human and faulty)...not HIM.
Well, that was today. I felt I reached out to someone many times this weekend and didn't get any feedback. I began to sink down into the depth of sorrow and darkeness. I started to reflect on the all the "bad" things that I had been through in the past and started to feel "justified" on those thoughts.
Then it hit me. The song He played when I felt my moms hurt. He came to my rescue yet again and showed me who WAS and IS the only one who truly knows, loves, and rescues me.
"and call on me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you ,and you will honor me."-Psalm 50:15
The Beatles were right on when they sang, "Here Comes the Sun." I just think they mispelled it.