Winter

Today I felt the "worst" part of my job...saying good-bye to some pretty awesome people. I have to recognize this family for everything they do.

A father in the military as an officer working on his masters degree and a mother (former officer) working as a hospital administrator. Their twin boys were in my classroom and I/we fell in love with them. They also had another son in April of this year.

How do they do it? Going to school, both working full time, raising a set of 2 yr. old twins and a 2 month old. Within the last few months they have been getting ready to PSC and move to another base.

Well, that time was today. This is the day we were dreading since they shared the news that they got orders to another base.

It has been a while since I have cried that hard over something at work.

This family is amazing! Their children are exceptional! The parents have super patience and it reflects through the children, who in return have patience with other children.

How did they become such a great family?

I can see through their pictures, their relatives who come for visits, and in their conversations with each other and their children, that it rooted from being active and attentive in their family. They are not selfish, they are not prideful, they are not overbearing, they are not rude, they are not bitter, they are not fake...they are true role models of humbleness, genuine, and being real. Always smiling and Gods grace all over them. Even in their busy times you would never know they had things going on. Things that some of us would cave under stress.

There are "seasons" in which people are supposed to be in your life and today felt like winter to me.

I am going to miss these children so much and I will miss them because of their parents.

How do you see your kids in the next 5 years? Will they be whining for your attention? Will they be needy because they are lacking something? Will they be TOO reliant on you? Are you overbearing, overlyprotective, or is it YOU that is afraid for your "babies" to grow up and you keep them in a bubble?

We all do hese things to an extent. I mean, I have struggled with many things lately with Maddy...but it hasn't been about HER. Its ME. Take a look inward and see what is it that is most important to you. Is it your job? Facebook? Your hobby? Maybe even church? Too much serving can not only burn you out in the long run, it can burn your children out...now.

First ministry is at home. It's time to prioritize.

Grow up!

I have to confess that I am completely torn at the moment.

Torn between trying to keep my 11yr. old a baby and letting her go to grow up.

People say that time flies...but really, it does.

It is hitting me hard lately that I will eventually have to let her go.

It is some parents desire to get their children out of the house someday as grown independent people but a little part of me wants to have a big house with separate wings, so she and her husband can live there. I just don't want to see her grow.

Tonight, as we took Frank on a walk, we noticed a group of children on the porch playing and laughing. Maddy got a little sad. When we got home we sat at the table and talked about why she was so down. "I just feel like I know you want to protect me but sometimes I feel alone. You don't let me go to friends houses or chat with them. I don't even have a cell phone to talk," she says as she's crying heartfelt tears.

Ugh, is this really happening??? Do I tell her about the family friend whose older brother touched me inappropriately when I was 5 yrs. old? Do I tell her the damage and hurt that computers/chatting can do? Do I tell her about the same damage/hurt that can happen through talking and texting?

I had to take a breather when she was saying these things to me...because she was right. I am very protective. There is one thing I pray for Maddy to keep with her always and fear of letting her go is fear of her losing the one thing you can't get back.

I can honestly say that I am trying to let her go as much as I can (in my eyes) but I am sure it is as little as I can in hers.

I was able to open up to her about a few things and not overwhelm her and I know as she gets older she will be able to understand a little more but right now I wish her growing would just stop.

You always say how much others children have grown but you don't really see it with your own until a day like this.

I know that trusting God with your child is what we should do and I know that our children aren't really ours. He is intrusting their little spirits in our hands and trusting that all we have to do is trust Him and we can't go wrong. On a day like this, that is hard to do.

I am going to seek out what the next step is on how to let go more. It may be a slow process but I have to start somewhere.

"...how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him." Matthew 7:11 (NLT)

I guess I need to Grow Up about her growing up!?!