I think God is taking me on road trip. These past few weeks I feel that He is leading me on a "Rediscover Yourself" tour. I definitely do not have all the answers but I am willing to see what it is the Lord is showing me. I am also willing to lay out my faults as well as my victories.
I have a "picture box" that I hold dear to my heart. While I call it a "box" it is more like a rubbermaid tub. It contains memories that go back to my childhood.
I love to sit and look at them from time to time. Looking at those pictures makes me happy and I feel loved. To be honest, my favorite pictures to look at are those of my mom and dad. The ones where they went to prom together, a wedding kiss, and a family photo of US. I feel so much love when I look at those photos and I am thankful that God made me.
Madelyn came up to me the other night and asked me if she could get a baby picture of herself out of the box. She said she needed it for school. I told her that was fine but not to make a mess. All of a sudden I hear her say, "oh mommy, you look so cute!" She brings me a photo of my hospital picture on the day I was born. I hadn't seen THAT photo in a long time. She then brought me one of me when I was 4 months old. I smiled immediately at the thought of what I was like when I was a baby. Then I thought of my parents and I sat in that happy feeling for a minute.
As I stared at the newborn photo I thought to myself, "and I didn't know I'd grow up to have Lupus." Then I said it to Jeremy and Maddy, "I didn't know I'd grow up to have Lupus." They then reached out to hug me. I jokingly laughed and took no pity. I am okay with it, I am at peace.
God had shown me that although that baby, Wendy Marie Makepeace...ME, did not know life would bring pain, tears, and sorrow, HE knew. HE knew how painful it would be and I would cry out. HE knew how angry I would be at the affliction and cry out. HE knew how sad I would feel when I felt alone and how I'd cry out. How did HE know? Because, HE was there.
HE cried for mercy before carrying the cross on HIS back. HE had nails driven through his hands and feet. A painful crown of thorns placed on HIS head in mockery. HE understood everything I went through.
HE understands everything you go through too. Rejection, sadness, heartache, loneliness, anger, frustration, etc.-HE knows.
Like I said earlier, my most favorite pictures to look at are those of my family. It makes me feel good to see them happy, joyful, and (at that moment) in love. I love to stare at them in photos and see who they are, what they are doing, and how they are interacting. It makes me proud to call them my parents.
Did you know God does that with you? Your life is a photo and God is the photographer. HE took a picture of you and stares at it with pleasure. HE made you and HE is proud of what HE made. HE doesn't see the hair loss, scars, rash, ailment, handicap, etc. HE sees YOU. HE loves YOU. HE delights in YOU. Like a parent, HE brags on YOU. Those "happy, excited, loved" feelings we get when we see a photo and it takes us back, God feels that every minute of the day for YOU.
...you know when I sit and when I rise...for you created my inmost being;you knit me together in my mothers womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
Say...Cheese! Jesus is going to frame YOU!