Thursday, October 9, 2008

God's Will

"You are due for another blog," my friend Shana tells me today. She has me stumped. In my mind I got nothing. I explain to her that I was extremely sick this past week and didn't really get anything out of it. I have never been that sick before. Last week I was running so good. I was running a 9:15 pace for 4 miles. I have never been that fast before for that long. I don't really desire that, but I'll take it when HE gives it to me. Then I got hit. The Stomach Bug! For 3 days I was bound to the couch. My loving daughter taking care of me like I was her elderly mother. I felt that way. I did nothing. I had plans for Saturday to run a long run and spend the rest of the day with Maddy having fun. I woke up and spent the day bonding with the toilet. I felt terrible both physically and emotionally.
Sunday morning we woke up and I could not make it to church. I told Maddy I was sorry and we would go next weekend. Since we were out of groceries (one of Saturdays errands) I wanted to take her to her favorite place to eat-IHOP. I wasn't thrilled about sitting in a crowded place while sitting shoulder to shoulder to someone BUT she sacrificed for me.
We got a waiter that some people may laugh at. He was in his late 40's early 50's and VERY excited being at work. He would come to the table and sing ballads of the 5 stack pancakes and side of grits you can order. His name is Will.
After a little while of singing and laughing at our table Maddy asked me why he acts that way. I told her he loves working here and not everyone loves their job like he does. We need to be happy having someone like him. I also gave her a side note of not making fun of someone like that and to appreciate his personality. She told me she would never make fun of someone.
Will brought us the receipt and a poem. He said his wife writes poems and he thought we'd enjoy it. It is titled "Child of God." It is about how we are created in God and has scriptures all over it. Madelyn looked at it and said "I have CF." Will said, "What was that?" I told him, "She has CF. It is Cystic Fibrosis and it is a lung and digestive disease." All of a sudden a soft sympathetic look came across his face and he said, "Oh, I need to pray with you. Can I have your hand?" Maddy gave him her hand and he prayed for God to touch her, heal her, and give her HIS love. He said the words that make me fall to my knees, "In JESUS' name." I was so choked up. I told Will thank you and he was back to singing about seeing us next time.
When we left we were so refreshed. I still had a turning tummy but my heart was so full of love for my Father, Savior, and Best Friend.
I knew I needed to write about this but couldn't gather the strength yet. I now know why.
As I was reflecting about this on which to write about. I began reflecting on my dad. His name is Will or William Joshua Makepeace. I have not seen him in 6 years. I was not fully devoted to the Lord at the time I seen him and I was an angry adult who had not yet gotten over or forgiven his abandonment from childhood. I wrote him a letter saying we are better to be friends. He never responded.
Guilt sometimes comes over me but the Lord reminds me of my "youth" at the time it was written.
I love my dad. He may have done some things to hurt me but I still love him. God still loves us right? We turn our back (on Him or others), HE loves us. We take things in our own hands, HE loves us. We "got this", HE loves us. Addictions, Gossip, and UNCLEAN heart, HE loves us.
I am hoping to make a trip to New Orleans (home) in February. I am praying to see my dad. Like the prodigal son, I am back. I am back to throw myself down and ask for forgiveness. Like the father, I am praying he takes me back.
Did you know God does that? He takes you back. He will welcome you in and never let go. We are not promised a perfect life (my dad was not there). We are promised a life filled with hope, peace, and love (your Heavenly Father is there).
So there it is, Will is God's Will. He made them, He loves them, and He loves you!

"His father said, 'Son you don't understand. You're with me all the time, and everything that is mine is yours...He was lost, and he's found!"-Luke 15:15 (The Message)

Thank you Shana for the accountability. Especially for allowing me to reminise on my dad/Father. I appreciate you!


Maria. said...

Wow girl. Isn't it incredible how the Lord orchestrates "chance" meetings with others who love Him. I was so encouraged by this post. So often people tell me that I am the victim in my relationship with my dad, but I'm not, I have carried so much hatred and bitterness against him for his abandonment too. This is huge to confess that we're not innocent in these relationships either. I love your heart, it reflects Jesus'. Thank you for writing his heart for us to read.

Shana said...

You are such a blessing Wendy! You are truly a broken vessel. I remember once you asked what my favorite scriptures were and I didn't really have one well over the last couple of weeks the Lord has made clear a couple. The first is Psalm 51:17. God truly does not despise your heart! The other is 1John 3:20, when our hearts condemn us God is greater than our hearts!