Poser

12 weeks until my very first NPC bikini competition.

A lot of amazing things have taken place along with the mental and emotional struggle.
I've always heard it gets mentally tough but I am understanding more and more everyday how hard it really is.

You go from eating whatever you want (not necessarily junk 24/7 but snacking when you want) to getting a meal plan (strict diet with once a week cheat meal) to NOW-cutting (no cheats for 3 months).
Food is just food but when you can't have something, it gets tormentuous.  I had to detox myself from Chipotle, Starbucks, and my precious pack of mini Kit-Kats.
It's getting easier but man, I was angry/sad/frustrated.  Especially during the monthly cycles.
Thankfully I have a patient husband and teenager that supports and understands me.

Progress is starting up.  I have always been "skinny" but never felt "fit."  Some people are okay with being skinny and have even said to me, "If I could be skinny like you I'd be fine."  But I wasn't/am not fine.
I have so much built up in me that I know I can offer, being skinny is not okay.

Ive heard talented people say they've always felt BIG inside but the small of them held them back, until something was finally released.
I am not going into this competition to WIN anything but if I do, great.
I am going to fulfill a purpose I felt put on me back in 2007.  I didn't know the resources or the right way to get there.  I was also VERY scared.  I tried to do things on my own and it did not work.
I finally got the information I needed and took off.
I gave up marathoning (for the meantime) to build muscle and saw crazy changes.
There have been a few things that have tried to detour me.  I developed Shingles in November (it lasted 2 weeks) and just recently got a spasm in my upper/mid back from changing 10 45lb weight plates on a leg press.  I twisted wrong and felt a jolt.  I had to take off a week off of training and get xrays, CT scan, and the crap scared of you (not really but a little).  But, it healed on its own and I was back at it!

I gave up social media (Facebook and Instagram) for the time being and it has been so freeing.  Not seeing unnecessary drama and obsessing over how I should be looking for this competition helps me focus on ME.
This blog is my last social cord.  It was here before Facebook and Instagram.  I will continue to use it over time just to let my voice heard and to declare that I believe God is doing a work in me.  I cannot wait to fulfill an ultimate dream.

"Everything you need is already inside."

Traps with lower fibers are finally forming!

Well, hello there abs!

GLUTES!

After much debate, I've decided on the green.

First ever group posing practice with the ladies.

Dallas Rae is my fit idol.  I love her personality and honesty.  And, the body is my goal!

#futurecompetitor

Its been six months since I've committed to being a bikini competitor.
It is a journey let me tell you.

Ive had some emotional times for sure and that has caused my mental state to shift.  I have said farewell to running for now and making that change was the hardest move.  Being a runner for almost 10 years with 9 marathons under my belt, it was sad to see it go.  BUT, I am still a runner and plan to do my 10th marathon next fall (Marine Corps Marathon or Women's Nike Marathon San Fran).

I eat so much more than I ever have.  I never thought I'd consume so much protein.  I never realized the importance of it.  I always thought the frailer-skinnier-less you weighed, the faster you would be.  The lie detector proved, THAT WAS A LIE.
I am on 6 meals a day and theres proof that its benefiting me.

Finally-QUADS!

May will be my very first bikini competition.  February 1st I start cutting my meals and that is when I will start seeing lean take place.
Until then, I am enjoying the journey and enjoying my bulking phase.

In local news,  I have a high schooler now and that is what it sounds like-high school.  I still think Im cool but she thinks I'm "aight, I guess."

Shoulders and arms! Ive never had any before!

125lb deadlifts! Gimmie those hammys!

We move into our new home right before Christmas and the finished basement has just enough space in a corner for my at home gym equipment.  I.cannot.wait.
Babe retires in 2 years and I know he's ready for his own thing.  He deserves it.
Life is just sailing.  Not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing.  We've weathered some storms in the past and I feel like we are on the upside.
When God gives you purpose, passion, and drive-you gotta go fulfill it no matter what comes your way.  A few years ago I veered off, got distracted, and wondered why God even still loved me.  Here it is almost 6 years later and Im so filled with Gods grace and purpose, I am pumped to serve and do HIS will.
I got tired of praying "get by" prayers.  I wanted GOD prayers.  I had to give up Facebook for that prayer to start coming true.  Too much negativity.
They're here now.  Let's go!

The heels! #futurecompetitor

The 'Pump'...

The most satisfying feeling you can get in the gym is the 'pump'...-Arnold Schwarzenegger

and I won't quote the rest (awkward).

I can't even begin to express this newfound feeling I have for the gym.
I set a goal, years ago, to someday be a fitness competitor.  I signed up and in less than a year, I will be.
Right now I'm in the BULKING stage.  I'm trying to gain muscle after years of running and not fueling myself properly.
I was always sitting at 110lbs and anything over made me feel "fat."  I know now how dumb that sounds.  So, in the meantime, I've gained about 7 lbs and I'm thickening up in areas of badonka donk. Haha!

All of this meal plans, not so much cardio, and a "lift heavy" plan is new to me.  I've had to retrain my brain on fuel and wean myself away from all the cardio.
I can say I've enjoyed every bit of it.

I freaking love squats, deadlifts, and leg press.  I always wanted to do them but feared the main gym where all the "meatheads" are, haha.  I changed gyms, got a trainer/coach, and got bold.  It was that first step that was the hardest.  Everyday since then, I go in like I own the place and lay it down.

The PUMP, as Arnold calls it, is life altering!

Glutes taking their appropriate place.

I'm not sure what God will fully call me to do but I'm enjoying the journey! I love that I can be more than a runner.  I feel strong and determined.  I'm not looking back and if I do, it's to wait for others who want to come along with me.

Delts, tris, and bis...oh my!

Squats are up to 90lbs and I'm working on getting lower.

FACE the BOOK

Celebrating 2 weeks of being off of FACEBOOK.

It's an amazing feeling.

I always looked at people strangely when they said they didn't have a Facebook.  Who doesn't have Facebook? Its the outlet to the world and communication to people who live far away/nearby (we just don't like being face to face).

It's also stressful.

I allowed it to consume me and at times, it took away from my child.

A few months ago I got the feeling of giving it up.  I contemplated it and debated it.  I came up with all sorts of reasons to NOT let go of it.  

And then it clicked.

Reach out to those people if you want to stay a part of their lives.  Don't just 'like' a status or picture, get to know them again and not through social media. 

Facebook doesn't have to be complicated and I complicated it.  I would get so aggravated at things and that would put me in a negative mood.

The day I got rid of it, I did something amazing.  I spent that time, that I normally look at Facebook,  facing THE BOOK.

I read in James through The Message version and I fell in love again.  

That's the thing about The Word.  It IS social media.  ANYONE can be a part of it.  There are REAL stories of peoples lives open for everyone to see/learn from, there are STATUS' that are uplifting/encouraging (they're called scriptures), and there is LIFE when you open it--and you don't need a password to open it either.

What's on your mind today?

Maniac!

Well, I am UNofficially a maniac...a Marathon Maniac, that is.

I have qualified for the club by completing 2 marathons in 16 days.  It is when I pay for entry to the club that I will be official and receive my number.

I completed my 7th marathon at the Publix Georgia Marathon, in Atlanta, on March 23 with a finishing time of 4 hours and 44 minutes.  The weather was supposed to be rainy but thankfully it barely drizzled and was overcast the whole time until I crossed the finish line.  That's when the sun came out! It was amazing.  Atlanta is tricky being hilly in some spots so I saved energy by walking/trotting up hills.  Overall, I was super proud of my run.  The only thing I regret was taking a banana and orange at mile 21.  I have never done that and I started feeling sick at mile 23.  After the run was over and I was back at the hotel, I ended up throwing up and dry heaving for a while.  It was horrible.  NO MORE fruit towards the end of a run.

The view over Atlanta.

Yikes!

Centennial Park

Marathon #7

I toured Centennial Park and rode the huge ferris wheel that looked over Atlanta.  Fighting my slight fears of heights by facing them.

April 6th I completed GO! St. Louis Marathon with a friend of mine.  It was her first marathon and my 8th.  Again, a hilly run but the weather was 45 degrees at the start and got up to 61 degrees at the finish.  It was amazing.
Jeremy couldn't go due to work so I took Maddy with me.  The night we got in,

Selfies with Lou Ferrigno...The INCREDIBLE HULK!

650 FEET!

we ate at a fancy cafe.  We had been there for about 20 minutes when in walks LOU FERRIGNO.  Yes, I said The Incredible Hulk.  It was crazy.  He was there with a few friends and I was freaking out.  I decided to ask for a photo and he kindly allowed it.  So, of course, we did a selfie.

I see the Cardinals stadium.

The next day we toured the arch.  It was amazing.  I was very shocked at how when we got to the top of the arch it actually felt like it was swaying.  My knees got weak and we lasted no more than 10 minutes.  Ugh.  Oh well, I once again fought my fears.

I have one more marathon in May (Colfax Marathon in Denver) and then its time to relax.  Well, not really relax but take a break on traveling.  I signed up to be a fitness competitor but won't actually compete until my race goals are done.  This summer I am focusing on lifting more and HIIT.  My trainer wants to help me improve on my runs first.
I can honestly say I am more fit in my mid-thirties than I was in my late teens and most adulthood.
What can I say? When The Lord shows you what you can do, go for it.  I have allowed negativity and doubt to run my thoughts for too long.  Its time.

May 2014-Colfax Marathon in Denver
(TBD:September 2014-Omaha Marathon in Nebraska)
October 2014-St. Louis Rock and Roll in Missouri (doing this one as a training run)
November 2014-Seattle Marathon in Washington

January, February, and March Madness

And here we are again.  Struggling to make time to post.

Recap.

Maddy going in for surgery.

January-Maddy was hospitalized AGAIN for two weeks.  This time she had Pneumonia and Strep.  It was a rough go this time seeing as her lung function was down to 35%.  She had issues with a PICC line and we made the tough *but oh so worth it* decision to get a PORT.  It was a minor surgery to get a small plastic piece under her left chest skin but everything went well.  For future hospitalizations and blood withdrawl we'll use the PORT instead of going through a vein.  It was a tough stay for her due to the amount of children on the peds floor with FLU, she was unable to have friends to visit.  Maddy is my hero--straight up.

Maddy throwing up deuces post surgery.

February-Nothing too interesting going on.  Marathon training continued and I WAS supposed to complete marathon #7 in state #7 but it didn't happen.
Got my very first MACRO calculation for my body type.  I am not very good at keeping track of protein/fats/carbs but I gotta get with it.  I want to be LEAN and that won't happen if I'm not doing my part.  *shaking finger at myself*

February progress shot.

March-Well, March 2nd was SUPPOSED to be my marathon #7 but it didn't happen.  The "runwives" and I drove over 7 hours to Little Rock.  It was a great ride down and the expo was amazing.  Bart Yasso, the editor of Runners World, was there to give a presentation.  We were then able to meet him.  I PROUDLY boast about being the first to take a "selfie" with him.  Silly but awesome!

"SELFIE!" with Bart Yasso

Sunday, marathon day, rolls around and it's raining like crazy.  It started out being 54 degrees and by the time it was all over it had dropped to 30 degrees with an ice storm headed our way.
They ended up canceling the race due to severe weather.  My friend and I were almost to mile 18 when they canceled and detoured us to a nearby Wal-Mart.  Freezing cold blistering winds and we were wearing shorts.

Captain AMY-rica and Wendy Woman

We were pretty disappointed.  Not so much because of the weather but because the race officials came back and said they rerouted us NOT cancelled the run.  Even though there were black signs from police that read race cancelled, they still said they only rerouted us.  We all know it was so they didn't have to refund us our fees.

Runners detoured at Wal-Mart

Next year, I am not running Little Rock Marathon.  I will run their other Arkansas marathon, "HOGEYE Marathon," and wear my LSU gear!!!
The next day it literally took us 2 hours to get out of Little Rock.  My car was solid ice.  Thankfully one of my "wives" drove 10+ hours home for us.

In ONE week, March 23, I will FINALLY complete marathon #7 in Atlanta, GA.  April 6th, marathon #8, will be in St. Louis, MO.   May 25th, marathon #9, will be in Denver, CO.
With 3 marathons in 3 months, I will qualify for a bronze level in Marathon Maniacs.  I cannot wait to be a part of this community.

The "runwives" with our EPIC medal for our unofficial finish.

Well, that's it.  It's crazy how time really does fly.  Busy or lazy, I just don't know the difference these days.

Cheers!

First blog of the year is here!

As I've said before I don't believe in resolutions, I just believe in goals and accomplishments.  So, with not having resolutions, I'm able to keep moving forward in my goals.

Resolution Run 5k

Hangover Half-Marathon (my Babe)

Run Into the New Year 5k

Resolution Run 5k at 5pm on New Years Eve, Run Into the New Year 5k at 11:45pm on New Years Eve, and Hangover Half-Marathon at 10 am on New Years Day! It was a long night/morning but we had a blast.

#UGLYSWEATers

Our "UGLY SWEATers" team also won "Best Costume".
Overall, it was a great day but man, I was extremely exhausted.

In other news, this new year is going to take a lot of getting used when it comes to my child.  My sweet girl turns 14 and will be entering high school.  I'm not really going to say much more because honestly, I have no words.
I get so excited at the thought of achieving my goals but that means TIME and time isn't something you can buy or buy back.
So, my purpose is bittersweet.
But, I will say I am very thankful she is so supportive of me.  If arthritis hurts, she's comforting.  If I'm freaking out about a run, she rubs my back or plays with my hair.  If I get so excited about a future run and our sight seeing, she supports the travel.

Why do you have to grow up?

I am so proud of who is she becoming.

The final goal I'd like to accomplish this year is my Marathon 2015 savings jar.  I had seen a savings plan for 52 weeks and I'm applying it towards my marathon fund.  The marathon I chose for 2015 will end up being a west coast one or an upper east coast.  I'd like to have "unlimited" funds to explore the surrounding area.  So, I started with what the plan asked for and added some change.  I'm excited to continue this plan until the day the plane leaves to take me to my destination.

Marathon 2015 awaits

So, heres to the new year! Cheers!

The most encouraging runners I know.